February 2008: Over the hill & p!ssing around

Hiya,

So cue the sports car (red ones goes faster), cue the teenage girlfriend (again, red-heads … sorry, that’s a crap joke) and cue the sagging and wilting of the body – my gout was playing-up, now I have an ear infection and a bout of athlete’s foot. That’s right, I turned 30 this February!!

Top 5 signs that you’re turning 30

• When it takes 5 days to recover from a basketball game.
• When nose-hair plucking doesn’t seem weird anymore.
• When you have absolutely no idea of who’s in the top 10 singles chart and don’t give a sh!t.
• When you get excited about tea – particularly variety packs or being given exotic luxury packs of tea.
• When you own pants (underwear) of an indeterminable age.

Over the hill
Not being one to miss an opportunity to spread-out my birthday I did something nice on my birthday (think of me falling out of the hotel sauna, full of Gummi Berry Juice, drenched in sweat and wandering around the hotel in my shorts, frightening the other guests with my random banter and you get the general idea) and I’ll also be having another little party sometime soon (date and location to be confirmed).

I don’t know what I wanted to have achieved by the time that I turned 30. I’m unsure about what I now want to do with the rest of my life – I could get married and dedicate the rest to a relationship, or I could become a monk and dedicate the rest to a religion, or perhaps something not so extreme, perhaps.

We don’t p!ss around, darling
It’s only been 3 years since I’ve gotten into Buddhism, not very much out of 30, yet already so much has changed. It makes it difficult to plan for the next 3 years.
I do feel that I will soon need to make some decisions – if I keep all my options open then I’ll make no progress. I need to choose a focus, afterall it’s our focus that determines our reality. So I feel that I need to focus on the things that are important to me – I feel that this year some decisions will need to be made. For example, even though the excellent trance DJ Graham Gold (who I listen to every week at work and love dearly) is coming to Auckland this June, I’ll be whiling my way to Sydney to attend the Dalai Lama’s teachings.
More than whether or not to get mother-f^cked or meditate, more decisions will be afoot this year – there’s fire in my belly and I’m feeling restless again – I’m unsure whether New Zealand has enough to offer. There doesn’t seem to be the experiences here that I’m ready for – I don’t really care much for developing my career, but I do need to be closer to Buddhist communities and events and the money helps (the Kiwi dollar sucks!!).
At the moment I’m at a strange ‘hmm’ phase, where I’m unsure of what to do with myself. I’m p!ssing around, whereas I usually have strong views about there being no p!ssing around whatsoever. I’m doing what I said I wouldn’t – there is no plan and I don’t know what the f^ck I’ll end-up doing!! Deep breath. Either way I’ll probably be here in New Zealand until the end of 2008 and even if I do leave, I’ll be sure to return …

Play safe.
Take care, Tomo.x

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